touchy about hair touching?

The question, posed today by Black Voices (via facebook), How do you respond to uninvited touching of your hair?, instantly gave me a flashback, only a few days old, of a woman I know (who happens to be white) at a party reaching out and touching my updo.  She'd never seen my long dreadlocks done this way, and she was complementing me on the style, saying "I love your haaaaiiiiiiirrr," as her arm unfolded and suddenly her hand was on my haaaaiiiiirrr.  Something in me skipped, like a needle on a record (I don't know her like that), but the song kept playing.  The moment passed as quickly as it came, and when it was over, I was glad.

But then it wasn't really over.  After a bit of mingling with other people, She and I bumped into each other again, and again, the arm was unfolding as another compliment was being uttered.  This time though I reacted.  Physically.  I can't even say I did it on purpose.  I felt my neck straighten and float backwards, leaving my face about an inch away from her outstretched hand.  Sure, a photo of the moment could believably have been captioned  "A game of Charades. the word is 'Pelican' ".  And yes, there was a much more alert and ladylike way for me to handle the situation, says hindsight now (of course).  But it all happened so fast...

Nevertheless, we got through the moment, and, I believe, we both learned from it. People (who aren't close to me) don't often try to touch my hair, so the shock and speed of this moment were probably why simple words like "Please don't do that" escaped me.  In a way, I'm glad my body took over when my mouth went mute.  A situation like this is often steeped in messy subconscious racial dynamics that aren't ready to see the light of day (that is, beyond the gross presumption that it's okay to touch a virtual stranger's hair in the first place, just because it is so other).  I didn't have time to think of it in racial terms.   I feel readier now, should it happen again.  But I'd bet that if it does, it won't be Her doing the reaching.

What about you?  Are you a hair toucher? Do you like your hair touched by strangers?

fashion stands up for liberian orphans

 

via the Alpha Omega Children's Foundation (AOCF) website:

“Fashion Stands Up for Liberian Orphans” is a fund raising fashion show and cultural event aimed at supporting the mission of AOCF, to assist in completing the Misssion of Hope orphanage in Liberia.  The event is designed to bring hope and encouragement to orphans in Liberia, and to help reestablish the lives and the emotional well-being of children infected with HIV/AIDS.

Spread the Love!!
Saturday 07.16.2011
4pm
LUXE at Lucky Strike (624-660 42nd Street and 12 Ave.) 

true blood makeup

photo via ecouterre.com

I know, I know, True Blood fans: As much as you want to, you can't go hang out, one of these summer nights, at Merlotte's. Lafayette will never be your BFF. And Bon Temps, you have to remind yourself from time to time, doesn't really exist.
You can however go to Sephora and check out the new limited edition 3-piece makeup collection, developed by the show's head makeup artist Brigette Myre-Ellis and eco-beauty label tarte.

From Ecouterre:

"Tarte uses only natural mineral pigments and fruit extracts, so its cosmetics contain no parabens, synthetic fragrances, phthalates, or Triclosan. An infusion of mint in the lip and cheek stains offers zest without the bite, while the uber-deluxe eye palette is a must-have for fang-bangers and V-curious alike. Clad in a killer corset-tie packaging, the kit includes eyeliner, mascara, and primer, plus shades with names like “Fairy” (shimmering pink), “Werewolf” (matte chocolate), “Glamour Me” (sparkling plum), “Stake” (matte steel), “Bayou” (shimmering golden tan), and “Waitress” (sparkling pink champagne)."

lianne la havas

Lianne La Havas from Black Cab Sessions on Vimeo.

fans shocked: japanese pop star revealed as computer generated

via Gawker:

"A bunch of fans of Aimi Eguchi, the newest member of the Japanese idol group AKB 48, were shocked to discover that she was actually a computer generated composite of the 'best features' of other members of the group."

Read the rest of the story here.


Wow ... Unreal.

prabal gurung resort 2012 -rye rye (new thing)

Fashion star on the rise Prabal Gurung launches his first resort collection with M.I.A. protegee Rye Rye:


Hawt.

street harassment - walking home

I was grateful to come across this article (and short film) on street harassment while perusing Clutch earlier today.  Grateful because I'm afraid it's one of those topics I have grown somewhat numb around.  Street harassment, especially in the summer, is such a given (especially here in NYC), I barely notice the way I brace myself everyday for it before going outside alone anymore. 

Thinking about street harassment, and what it means sends a chill down my spine.  It isn't about beauty or attraction, as it so often is innocently worded by the harasser to begin with.  It's about power, about control, even if only for a moment.  If you've ever walked past one of these advances without giving it any energy and found yourself walking away from a slew of insults (let's say, "Bitch!" for example, or "Oh you think you all that?!"), or quasi guilt trips ("You can't speak?!"), you know what I'm talking about.  Control, if only for a moment.

I usually just walk past.  It's the most honest, sane (and safe) thing to do in most cases.  Engaging seems like it would be akin to arguing with a drunk.  I walk past, while reminding myself of some simple facts about the moment:  This will be over in a matter of seconds.  This man is at a standstill on this sidewalk, talking sh#t, and I am going somewhere.  Long neck, chin level with the ground, half a smile on my face, I walk past.
What do you do?  Do you ever feel the need to talk back?  Have you ever just snapped?

Check out film maker Nuala Cabral's short film on the subject, Walking Home.